Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
