If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
