Tell her she can't have a vagina
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
false alarm. still invincible.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Randomize
