yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Every concussion has its silver lining
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
