i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
