He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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