I skipped work to stalk him.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
