Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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