so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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