Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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