no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
