why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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