I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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