Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
