Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
