Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
