i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
