90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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