Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
