after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
