I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
