These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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