He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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