Grow some girl-balls and come out already
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize