This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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