Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
