I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
