Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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