Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
