Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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