isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
