What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
