I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just had sex on a roof
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize