Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
