i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i out mim tonsoeep
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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