so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
