dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
