You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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