The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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