apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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