Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
