did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize