she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
