I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
