i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
