Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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