We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
