We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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