We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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