the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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