i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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