I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize