If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
