We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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