I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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