I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
