My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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