Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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