I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
