no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
