I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
