would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
