Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
